You Can Always Count On Me Lyrics

I'm one of a long line of good girls 
Who choose the wrong guy to be sweet on 
The girl with the face that says welcome 
That men can wipe their feet on 

I'm there when he calls me 
The trusted Girl Friday all right 
But what good does it do me 
Alone on a Saturday night 

If you need a gal 
To go without sal'ry and work too hard 
You can always count on me 

The kind of a pal 
To sneak you a file past the prison guard 
Loyal to the nth degree 

The boss is quite the ladies' man 
And that's my biggest gripe 
Til I showed up he'd never hired 
A girl cause she could type 

I'm no femme fatale 
But faithful and true as a St. Bernard 
Barking up the wrong damn tree 
You can always count on me 

I don't need a map 
I nat'rally head for the dead end street 
You can always count on me 

I'm caught in a trap 
When joy is appraoching then I retreat 
I'm at home with misery 

I've been the other woman 
Since my puberty began 
I crashed the junior prom 
and met the only married man 

I'm always on top 
For romance or chocolate that's bittersweet 
You can always count on me 

I go for the riff raff 
Who's treatting me so-so 
When I can play the second fiddle 
I'm a virtuoso 

I should be playing for a wedding band 
But there're no wedding rings attached 
Though you can bet there're strings attached 

A matter of fact 
If you want an ill-fated love affair 
You can always count on me 

Though I've made a pact 
To carry out research before I care 
Men don't give a warranty 

One Joe who swore he's single 
Got me sorta crocked, the beast 
I woke up only slightly shocked 
That I'd defrocked a priest 

Or else I attract 
The guys who are longing to do my hair 
You can always count on me 

Though my kind of dame 
No doubt will die out like the dinosaurs 
You can always count on me 

I'm solely to blame 
My head gives advice that my heart ignores 
I'm my only enemy 

I choose the kind who cannot 
Introduce the girl he's with 
There're lots of smirking hotel clerks 
Who call me "Mrs. Smith" 

But I've made a name 
With hotel detectives who break down doors 
Guess who they expect to see? 

You can always count on 
Bet a large amount on 
You can always count on me